hey, ma!

you. you always knew how to make me feel like a kid. rarely do i feel sheepish, but around you, im all thumbs and sixes. my sly smile disappears, and im in check.
its a shame i push you away.

its been a while, my bouncing blogging baby. i miss you. and as i sit here, cradling you in my arms, im overwhelmed with the joy of knowing you're here. (even when im not)

life happens to us all in strange ways.
my sister said something about covering all the bases today. not possible, ive decided.
since i last wrote here, i suddenly decided the best thing to do was to go to school. not because i feel like i have something to learn, and not because i want to party... maybe im running away, its arguable. as far as im concerned though, i just want to be able to make music without needing to work. this is the best way.
so this process of applying to music school has been nothing but jumping through hoops. and ive performed exquisitely. but there is this one, small yet tremendous problem that has reared its head today: my college transcript.

enter, one very upset fellow. to say my transcript is dismal is to sugar coat diarrhea poop. and so, despite the fact that i crushed my musical theory entrance test, aced the hearing test, and performed three pieces five grade levels above the required level flawlessly, I am not so confident about my chances of getting in. I've written both my teachers (im a part time student, dontchaknow) and requested some form of endorsement. im sure theyll grant it... I've also written an incredibly honest yet brief cover letter as an introduction to this sealed envelope that sits here across from me.. the magnitude of its power, epic. If this envelope contained different letters, i would say with certainty that the course of my life would change drastically come this september. but it doesn't.. 6 incomplete classes. you know what that means? that means if back then, i had an ounce of care about my future, i could have marched into an office and dropped these classes. but i didnt. i think i was high in the school parking lot. or chasing after girls or something. literally the difference in my shite GPA.

but you know something, dear reader? there's a great deal of relief I feel, knowing despite the fact that the Haig from five years ago has strongly hurt present Haig's chances at university (at least for now,) that I have done everything in my power to make this work. There are few things i can say that about. I think i decided i wanted to do the university thing about a week and a half ago. Its alot of work, considering the deadlines. But its been great fun learning how it all works.

its all hoops and doggy tricks people. dont be discouraged.
lets hope i get in!!