plasma ball

so im sitting in my home studio/bedroom/tv room/everything room
if i were feeling a bit more energy, id take pictures of this place and upload em for you all to see.
but actually, im exhausted and unable to sleep. which is a frustrating place to be!

does anyone out there ever feel paralyzed by the abundance of options they face?
like there are so many things to do that you just dont do anything at all?

to avoid a page-long diatribe about something some might consider enviable, i have two options: a) reach deep into my gut for the last ounce of optimism i have left for today, or b)i say "fuck it" and go to sleep

.................

everyone around me, including myself, has had some sort of monumental/watershed moment in their life occur. The last two and a half years of my life were dedicated to Princess (my former band.) I loved it, it was time well spent. I learned so much about the business of music, about advertising, about working closely with people, friends over a long period of time..
i completely lost myself in it. and as my focus narrowed so did my potential. all i could see was this band. all i advocated, represented.

..and the work was rewarding! i enjoyed every show i played, all the fans we met, i belong in the club there's no doubt.

but this past november, the stars aligned just right and a freak accident @ work (and a general boredom with the place) prompted me to quit. The band also decided it was in our best interest to not hold on to the monthly jam space we had and rehearse in hourly rooms. on top of these things, we had no shows booked past the 6th (or maybe 7th, who knows anymore..)

the bottom line was, for the first time in over two and a half years, i stopped. i relaxed. as lame as it sounds, i rediscovered myself. and in the pursuit of being a bit more selfish (not in the "My cookie!" way, but in the healthier realist way) i quit the band.

Dont get me wrong, im a dreamer til i die. But right about now, i could totally use something real to latch myself to. at least til i get my shit together.

im a bottle of rum away from making music that sounds like this....



lol

for those who dont know, NIN is the only music i have consistently adored for as long as i can remember.
This is off their(his) first record, release '89. light years ahead of its time....

thanks for humoring me this sleepless night

btw, those youtube vids are coming SOON!!!! request something. if not im going with the meat puppets. or jimi. either way, im singin the blues baby!

love you

*muah